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Dec 21, 2016
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I always knew my dreams would keep me up at night but I didn’t think they’ll take away my peace.I used to think imagine myself in a lab coat saving lives in the hospital,  having people be grateful to Allah that I was their doctor, and being a role model to the young girls in my society. So yes,  I knew that I’d have to be a very hardworking student, study late nights and endure every other discomfort that would come with achieving my dreams but little did I know that there were dreams that would indeed give me both sleepless nights and fearful days.  As I got up to use the restroom in my bedroom, I heard footsteps and no,  this wasn’t a dream it was reality. me Shrieking with fear,  I slowly entered the restroom, I still don’t know if it was to hide from alhaji or just not be killed that night but I hid myself.  And I heard a female voice say, Yarona zo muyi addu’a! (my child come let’s pray) Phew!! Allah be praised. Ina zua mama!(I’m coming) I came out. Dressed properly and went for prayers. I used to look forward to our 5:30am prayers but today wasn’t one of those days. I was hoping alhaji would forget me but he didn’t.  After the prayers he handed me to his third wife my Uwar Gida and introduced us. Ina kwana mama. Lafia lau, but the voice I heard wasn’t an old woman’s voice. I didn’t know her age but she would have been my elder sister. All the fear in me suddenly felt a tad toned down like,  I had found refuge. Alhaji left us and we began to talk.  She asked my name and I told .That was the start. She began asking who my parents were and what school I attended, what I had learned so far and as a matter of fact I enjoyed every bit of our conversation because as we made the massa that morning I felt like we equally birthed a bond between us. We also talked about my aspirations and while I spoke she couldn’t stop laughing, she practically said my dreams were too big for a 15 year old. I disagreed, and argued that I could make a difference. Even in the future times where I had other issues, that day’s discussion still made me smile like I’m smiling right now.  But something else happened, I asked what she did for a living and she said “I take care of our husband”. I said OK.  How? She looked at me sternly,  as if to say I’d come to ruin her life, and then smiled a little,  and said, you’ll learn soon.   Words aren’t nearly enough to describe the feeling I had at that single moment for all the fears of the nightmare started running through my head again and this time my stomach too. I began to sweat too, and she said help me turn the massa, like five times.  I didn’t hear,  and when she tapped me,  she said,  it’s not as bad as you think, you’ll be fine.  Yea,  I tried to help it but I couldn’t.  She could have been telling the truth but then it was very unlikely, so I told her about my dream and her countenance changed. I asked her what was wrong, she just walked away.

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